Frozen

Back in the middle of January, during one of the coldest recorded winters in Chicago, my friends and I went to see the frozen lake.  Here are some pictures from our exploration. 🙂

Enjoy!

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Reflections on Winter Tour (MBI Chorale – 2014)

Back in January, the choir that I’m in (The Moody Chorale) went on Winter Tour for three days.  I journaled a bit about each day and I’d love to share that with you along with a couple of pictures from the trip. 🙂  In the next couple of weeks I’d also love to share another post of pictures from my time here in Chicago.
The only information I will leave out are the names of people we stayed with (host homes) and a couple of stories I think should remain in the chorale due to people not wanting to be embarrassed, haha.  Nothing bad.  Oh and a couple of observations about people that wouldn’t mean anything to you all.  Everything else will be practically copied exactly (except for when the meaning wasn’t clear (in which case I edited it)).

Day 1) Friday, January 17, 2014
Driving out:  The city looks so beautiful on this cold partly cloudy day!  The geometric shapes are fun to look at.  I saw a 10-story building with trees and plants on the 8th floor (the 9th and 10th floors were indented behind the green area).

The bus isn’t actually as loud as I though it might be.  I think that is due to the fact that the bus is carpeted.  I have a pair of seats to myself which is nice for the moment.  The women’s choir gave us a bag of snickers (candy)  for our trip.

I see a domed green building off in the distance.  There are so many church spires.  There is an air of excitement which causes even me (or is it I??)  to be excited. 🙂

I will record random questions I wonder about as often as I can because someday it will be fun to read them.  🙂

Question 1:  Do trucks ever get stuck on hills? (this was accompanied by a drawing of a truck stuck at the top of a hill with the bed of the truck holding the wheels off the ground on either end.  Yes, I know, funny question, but since I’m writing up exactly what I wrote you get to see some of the silly things I come up with).

I had a very rough day yesterday and this morning.  I kept seeing more of what is truly in my heart.  What is in me is awful.

Interruption: I see a huge area full of semi-trucks stacked five to six trucks high.  There are multicolored ones (greens, reds, creams, etc.).  This whole area is trucks and factories.  At least there are some trees.  There’s a lot of graffiti on everything.  I also saw a field of huge train-like gas tanks.

(back to your regularly scheduled program)  I have a deep root of bitterness, complaining, selfish, self-righteous, legalistic… it is ugly.  Covered in sin and rebellion from God.

It started snowing.

Seeing signs reflected off the bus windows makes me think for a second that they are in Russian.

I’m listening to music on my iPod on shuffle.

Question 2: (reflected upon after seeing a couple different advertisement signs by the highway/interstate) Why is the word grownup/adult immediately connected to sex, toys, and other related things?  

(Written after our first concert the evening of the 17th):
I met a family of 11 children–6 boys and 5 girls.  They like singing — they sang us a song they wrote about coffee.  Their youngest is 2 and their oldest is 20.  We (Mariya and I) are staying with the P. family and their two sons (N. 10, and A. 7).  They have a cute brown and white dog.  They have built a ton of lego creations!

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The concert went well – especially the beginning songs and the last ones (esp. “The Lord Bless You and Keep You” arranged by John Rutter).  Wow!  Singing like that makes all the effort and time worth it!  Today I feel like I want to be in chorale all 4 years at college!

Daniel’s back was really bothering him today.  Sean did a beautiful Bach cello piece arranged for his guitar for the offertory.  SuJin’s testimony on grace was phenomenal!

The church had wonderful acoustics!  The women’s bathroom was light green. 🙂  The table decorations were mason jars with green tissue paper and fake yellow flowers (lilies perhaps??).  The church is filled with large families who almost all homeschool and many of whom have adopted.  They served us a delicious dinner of: meat (3 kinds – ham, chicken, and beef), corn, vegetable casserole, buns and butter, cookies, and 7-layer salad. 🙂

The girls’ changing room was in the nursery.  My pinch-on earrings hurt a lot especially the right one.  I sang in the front row inbetween two sopranos (Georgette and Alex).

While driving home (the host home), I looked into the darkness and saw many factory (chemical refineries, etc.) lights twinkling a happy golden color while from out of thin pipes water vapor floated into the dark sky forming beautiful white clouds.  There were also a couple tall thing towers on top of which a bright flame burned away all the impure and bad gas.  It was a beautiful view. 🙂

Day 2) Saturday, January 18, 2014
I had a bad dream about a snake.  I had to escape my house before the snake was let out of its cage on purpose to chase me.  I looked up while escaping and woke up (around 6:15 am).  I fell back asleep trying to ignore the room sounds.  Mariya woke me up later.  We ate a delicious breakfast of meatballs/sausage, french toast with eggs and almonds, tea and water.  A. played “Away in the Manger” for us on the keyboard.  He was adopted from Russia.  I took pictures. 🙂

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On the bus ride (later), Christian had to do a dance because he forgot his hanger in the dressing room.  He danced to Janger (one of our choir songs in Indonesian).  We also shared host home stories.  Our bus driver’s name is Jeff.  He is an excellent and safe driver.  It snowed many inches today.

We walked around a mall.  I rode on a white horse.  Sean road on a cat and named her Gertrude. :p  The mall was painted!  The ceiling was green, then the ceiling lights were blue, and the walls were yellow.  There were real plants and trees. 🙂

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We sang in an elementary school.  It had ok sound acoustics though the piano was a bit out of tune.  I enjoyed singing on the stairs and in the hallways because they were so echoey.  The song “Daemon Irrepit Caledus” was stuck in my head a lot.

OH!  In the morning we did small groups.  My small group is: Taylor, Mariya, Ian, and myself.

I was really tired for tonight’s concert so I don’t think I sang as well.

We (Alex, Madison, Mariya and I) stayed with S.  She has a very old huge house.  She also has a cat named Sharlie.  🙂  I petted Sharlie a lot.  She loves the side of her face and her neck getting a good rub.  She left lots of hair on my black choir dress.  Bedtime now at midnight!  I will be waking up around 6:50am or so to leave at 7:20am.

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Day 3) Sunday, January 19, 2014
I am writing you with the pen S. gave me.  She also gave me: a make-up bag, 6 heart chocolates, a mechanical pencil, a card and a knickknack. 🙂

I love, love, LOVE singing the “Thank you” song! (It’s a song we sing after every meal we are served to thank the cooks).  I love seeing the people’s reactions. 🙂

Breakfast was scrambled eggs, cheese, bagels, grapes, pink “fluff”, and more. 🙂

Ryan was very sick last night and today.  Mariya also felt sick but only in the morning.  Our call time tomorrow is 8am.  I saw swings outside the church so I hope we get there early so that I can swing for 5 minutes!  (I did get to swing)

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The pastor picked up on our concert’s theme of man’s sin verses life lived under God in His grace, joy, love and peace.

They fed us so much good food today that I think I might have gained weight. :p  🙂  One lady at lunch married and Iranian and was Muslim for a long time.  Now she and her husband are both saved!!  They are praying for their four daughters who are not saved.

Ben and Brennan left their folders at the last church so… they had to do some things on the bus.  Brennan had to sing “What Does the Fox Say?” with fake green teeth on.  It was hilarious!  But the teeth wouldn’t stay on because they were too small.

The Methodist church we sang at tonight was very well designed – architecturally.  We got an hour and  half of free time!  It was wonderful!  I lay in the dim sanctuary on a red covered pew bench listening to very quiet music.  I don’t know if I fell asleep or not.  On Saturday I forgot to say that I met an older lady named Bonnie (Bonnie is my favorite girls’ name).

Tonight Mariya and I are staying with a family with two boys at home and a black dog named Diamond (15 years old!).  The youngest son is 11 and he has the extra “love” chromosome.  He is so loving!  I had to argue with him to get him to only kiss me on the cheek.  He gives the best hugs!

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I got to help take down the chairs and round tables in the gym after dinner.  It was fun!

I really don’t like TVs very much.  What a waste of time and energy.  I also think I waste too much time on my iPod games — so I deleted all of them.  :p

I sang Frozen songs with Rosie the other day in the bus.  Eric also randomly starts singing Christmas songs.  Colby says he gets flack about his hair being a “stumbling block” to others.  That’s ridiculous and a misuse of scripture as well.  Taylor really likes to read Stephen King books (It, and 11/22/63).  Daniel can talk but he’s also quite fine quiet and alone.  He’s observant.  Eric and Jacob study and do homework.  Ian talks and jokes around.  Sean rests and is quiet or asks 20 Questions or plays his guitar.  Kathryn sat alone.  She is very quiet.  Josie looks beautiful when she unbraids her hair. 🙂  Ryan is still able to crack jokes even when he’s sick.

Ok, goodnight!!  We head “home” tomorrow!  I’m so glad. 🙂

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That’s all I wrote down. 🙂  I hope you enjoyed it and didn’t get thrown too many times by my jumps in subject. :p  I was too tired to keep it all organized and since I didn’t want to forget any little details I would just write down everything as it popped into my brain.

Grace, Love, and Joy

As sleep seems to be eluding me once again, I have decided to finally make myself write again.  So many ideas of topics and posts have swirled through my head in the last couple of weeks, but I didn’t write any of them down.  So as my state continues to be mostly closed due to the ridiculously cold weather (-14 F (-25 C)) and very heavy snow, I’m finally ready to write at least a couple of my thoughts down and share them with you.

Transitioning to college has been an interesting things.  At first I was on a crazy high of new excitements and adventures, then it lowered to a more realistic picture of my new reality which had its ups and downs.  And now that I’ve been home for Christmas break, I’ve gone into a more reflective mood.  I was told by wise people in my life to enjoy my time at home (in highschool) because once I moved out I would never have a time like this again.  It’s so true.  I love college, but it’s become my new home.

Being back in my room reminds me of why I loved it so much.  On sunny days I was surrounded by a cheerful natural yellow light as I lay on my bed reading.  My bookshelves covered half of one wall and I could find any book I owned instantly although they weren’t ordered in a fashion that would make sense to most people.  My little brother slept on the other side of the room and during the day he would play legos on his train table.  The fish tank made a cheerful noise in the background which helped block out some of the crazy sounds that naturally arise from being part of a large family.

Now the room has been reverted to the boys’ room.  Both of my brothers sleep side by side and almost all of my 400+ books are packed away in boxes in the attic.

After sleeping on the floor a couple of nights and then on the sofa, my littlest brother (14 years younger than me) graciously offered to let me sleep in his bed (my old bed) and he would sleep on his old bed on the floor next to his brothers big bed.  So that is where I’ve finally landed until I return ‘home’ in a couple of days.

Every night I’ve been home for the past week or so my little brother has come to sleep with me in the middle of the night.  One time he woke up screaming, the poor guy.  You can’t really refuse when your little brother is upset and is asking you to comfort him.  But inevitably a couple of hours after falling asleep with him curled against me, I’d find myself on the very edge of the bed with him moving against me almost pushing me off.  He moves a lot in his sleep and likes to use up a lot of bed space.  A twin sized mattress (or even smaller, the sofa!!) can be challenging when one of the two people moves a lot in his sleep.  :p

Last night I had finally decided that I would simply carry my brother back to his bed if he came over again because I needed to sleep and not stay awake worrying about him falling out of bed.  But then I heard him say, “I can’t fall asleep” (around 1 am) and he climbed out of his big brothers bed into mine.  It was so sweet.  Of course, later, the same thing happened that always happened.  But before that I had time to think.

I was trying to figure out what exactly to write in my next blog post.  Somehow I jumped to thinking about a comment one of my closest friends made to me recently in a really good 3+ hour conversation.  I don’t remember the specific comments before it, but we were talking about my reaction to forgetting things.

I hate to forget anything, and I told her (when asked) that I get upset with myself when I can’t remember or I forget something.  “Why?” she asked.  “Do people typically have perfect memory?  Is it a common trait to be perfect in that area?”  After about a half second of reflection I replied, “No.”  She then asked me why I expected such a high perfection of myself when no one else expected it.  I said I didn’t know.  I simply did.

My next thought (last night) went to how I view myself and God.  We are called to walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8).  We are not called to walk perfectly and then walk around in shame when we fail.  God wants to walk with us through life, not just in the ‘perfect’ parts (as if there are any of those anyway).  He calls us to a relationship with Him.  Even when that means sharing with Him that you don’t even want to give up parts of your life, He’ll take that.  He’ll walk with you and gently guide and discipline you.  He’s not sitting up in heaven with a ruler smacking His fist demanding to know why you failed yet again.

Instead, like a Father, He is right beside you to pick you up, comfort you, and hold your hand as you persevere towards godliness and holiness.  He gives you grace even when you can’t give it to yourself.  One reason I think so many of us struggle with accepting and giving grace and love is because we don’t truly understand how much grace and love God has given us.  If we did, our lives would be radically different.

Little by little God has been revealing Himself to me over the past couple of months.  His grace is so beyond anything I could ever imagine or deserve!  And yet He keeps giving it!  And the joy that comes from truly knowing God (instead of knowing about Him) is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.  One reason I haven’t written is because I don’t even know quite how to put into words all the things God has been revealing to me about Himself and about me.  It’s a challenge to explain my experiences to you, but I’ll try as I start my second semester.

Although I’m learning about grace and love my outward actions have not changed much.  It has to affect a heart change before I can expect my attitudes to have a lasting change.  So, if you wouldn’t mind praying for me I wold be very grateful.  I will be praying for you that God would open your eyes to the relationship (or a deeper relationship) you can have with Him.  It’s the only thing that will truly give your life meaning and it’s what you were made for–to know and worship God!  🙂

Prayer requests:
~For God’s grace and love to penetrate deeply into my heart–so much that I would be able to extend grace and love to myself and others.

~For everyone here at Moody to be growing in their relationship with Christ Jesus–that we would be overflowing with Christ’s love, joy, and grace that it would naturally flow into the lives of those around us–believers and unbelievers.

~For a realization day to day, hour to hour, that I’m in constant communication with God.  Wow!  How awesome is that??!  That I would remember and worship Him all day every day.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18~

~ College ‘n’ Chicago ~

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  • Bullet points of my last month in College in Chicago.  Enjoy!  🙂  (in no particular order) (p.p.s. The tone of this particular post shifts considerably all over the board… just bear with me and realize that I am really happy to be here and besides the long-ish section, I’m doing ok, and working through stuff with people.  I share my honest feelings at the time of the particular happenings without going into more details (the ‘boring’ stuff) about what happened afterwards.
  • My roommate is awesome.  She and I get along but we almost never see each other because of our completely opposite schedules.  We’re the ‘opposites attract’ situation.  Random fact: she falls asleep within 5 minutes of lying down!!  She’s amazing like that.  🙂
  • Chorale is AMAZING!!!  I absolutely love it!!  I can’t overemphasize how wonderful chorale is.  🙂  There are 31 of us, and although we are small, we have a very beautiful sound.  I’m most excited about some of the beautiful chords in a couple of the songs, as well as this one song we’re singing in Indonesian (it’s quite challenging!).  We memorize all of our music, though I’ve only memorized one piece so far (practiced over 14 pieces).  The chorale retreat really helped me get to know everyone – but I can’t share the initiation stuff or chorale traditions.  You’ll just have to join chorale to find out what happened. 😉  🙂  Every time I go to practice, I feel like I’m a music major and I fit in.  It’s a new experience to be among so many people my own age who love music like I do.  I’m not sure this will adequately describe what I do, but, when I sing a song I tend to add my own melody/harmony to it instead of singing the regular harmony.  At least, on more modern songs.  I don’t always do that to old hymns, etc.  But pretty much everything else gets something added.  The other people here do it too!!  🙂
  • I’ve got a babysitting job once a week for 3 hours with children whose parents are attending MBI.  Tonight there were around 7 or 8 children.  All of them were under the age of 3 or 4 (at the oldest) and most of them were on the younger side.  I spent most of the time holding a little boy named Benjamin and just holding him as he made himself cry for no reason.  After spending over 15 minutes trying to distract him, I simply gave up and just sat with him.  Oh, and I ate dinner and fed him his bread stick in little bits which did keep him quiet for a while.  I love working with children, though I was really tired around 2 hours into it.  I don’t even know how much I’ll get paid (or when, because of paperwork).  🙂
  • Hearing the radio during babysitting playing contemporary (pop perhaps?? no clue what genre) songs that I haven’t heard for over a month now.
  • Naps.  I can’t say I’ve really ever been able to nap in my life before (well, besides when I was a child).  But now??  Taking a nap is a common thing in college.  It’s a wonderful thing!  There’s nothing better than a short (or long!) nap to give you energy for the rest of the day. And no, coffee is not better than a nap.  The only thing not cool is when it ends in a nightmare that haunts you for the rest of the day… now -that-, I could live without.  =P
  • Everyone has their own specific favorite thing to eat in the SDR (student dining room).  For me it’s cheese. 😀  For one girl, it’s hot chocolate.  Another loves cereal.  One only eats salads.  One loves peanut butter with every meal.  It’s quite interesting and amusing. 🙂  We all tease each other good natured-ly.
  • *looks at tiny spider crawling up dresser*  Me: “I hate spiders.” (as I kill it with the nearest thing I can find)  Roommate: “For someone who hates spiders, you certainly don’t sound scared.”  Me: “It’s complicated.  I hate them, but I don’t scream or freak out… I would normally capture it and take it outside, but living in a dorm makes that a bit more complicated.  I’ll kill spiders I find in my room here.”
  • “You’re checking those out for pleasure reading???” *surprised voice of the librarian*  Me: “Yeah.  I love languages.” 🙂  I think I was checking out a book on Arabic script, a book on the Ukrainian language, 2 books on Latin (for singing in chorale, not because I’m studying that language), and 2 Linguistic books.  You know what I love about college??  I’m here.  I’m a college student.  I’m confident in that.  I can be myself.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t fit in.  It’s totally new.  Not that I don’t always try to not fit in… I do like to fit in, I’ll admit that.  But it’s so nice to not have to worry about fitting in all the time.  I’m in, already.  No one else can take that away.  🙂
  • College girl/partner in a weekly project: “Judgmental much??” (sarcastic/joking tone) after I had commented, “That man just walked across the street a minute ago.”  I mean, come on, he walked across the street while on his phone, stood on the other side and then walked back.  Who doesn’t notice things like that??!  😉  My response (admittedly a little miffed): “No.  I just notice details.  Besides, he speaks Arabic.”  (yeah, I know, that -totally- makes it non-judgmental if it relates to a language)  xD
  • Roommate: “You aren’t a city girl, are you?” -walking around for 45 minutes completely lost in downtown Chicago-.  Me: “Well, not exactly.  I’m from a suburb.  How can you tell I’m not from a city?  And you aren’t exactly a city girl either.”  I was genuinely curious to know what sets me apart from ‘everyone’ else (besides the actual fact that I’m not from there).  R: “You walk differently – smaller strides.  You ask constant questions about where we are and you look nervous.  You chatter. You notice everything.”  Me: *thinking: didn’t they tell us to be aware of our surroundings in every safety class I’ve ever taken?*  “Really?  How do people walk?”  *she demonstrates*  Me: “Oh, well, I have short legs, so of course I don’t walk like that.  It would be awkward.  Do people really not notice things like I do?”  (notice the constant chattering, haha)  She just shook her head.
  • So the noticing thing has come up a lot now.  I guess I’m observant.  And I’m happy to be that. 🙂  What fun would life be if we never saw anything?
  • Multiple people at different times: “Did you get my text/voicemail?”  Me: “No.  I don’t use my cell phone ever.  Remember?  I told you that.  I also don’t text.  Do you have my e-mail?”…  I think I’ve explained this to everyone on the campus (it feels like that sometimes).  I think I’m one of 5 people out of 1000+ who don’t text/use their phones ever (if they even have one).  Besides the bars never are high enough for me to call anyways so it is almost pointless (where as everyone’s more expensive phones get great reception here).  I’m a tiny tiny bit frustrated when people ask me if I got their texts/messages when I distinctly remember telling them specifically that I *almost* never use my phone.  I wasn’t kidding.  I don’t.  I don’t even remember to turn it on, so I’m sure next time I -do-, it will pop up with about 10 new messages and texts.
  • For part of a class assignment, I have to read the entire Pentateuch (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy).  Although I will admit to it being quite a long read, and not always the most engaging reading in the world, God’s been teaching me things through it (well, of course, what else should I have expected?  Even though not all of the O.T.  (Old Testament) laws apply to us anymore, there’s still much to be gleaned about God and his character and other things related).  Maybe I’ll put up some of my specific notes/thoughts sometime in a future post.  Sticky notes are THE best!!  🙂
  • It’s almost 2:30 in the morning and I’m awake.  WHY??  No clue, but I’m awake and it might have to do with the nap nightmare I had this afternoon.  It involved life sized ant/bug/THINGS/creepyTHINGS, and eating them, and them being bad and taking over, and me floating in the air (the only non-creepy/ok part), and other things.  It was just generally disturbing.  :\  I can usually put things out of my mind, but this one just pops up whenever I least wish to remember it.  At least it wasn’t worse.  I have had at least 2 much worse dreams before.
  • CPO!!  🙂  It’s so cool!  You can send people on campus notes/gifts/letters or send mail to anywhere else as well.  When you’re in college it’s really really fun to get mail!  Scratch that.  It’s ALWAYS fun to get mail and packages. 🙂  My parents surprised me and sent me (through a friend, and not through CPO, now that I think about it…) a box with all sorts of things.  I only expected a new (replacement) backpack (because my ‘new’ one broke within a week or two of using it), a personal item and a computer foot (my computer has 4 and they have fallen off a couple of times).  Inside, however, was a bag of gummy bears (totally unexpected!), a bag of trail mix, a bag of dried fruit (my favorite!), and a box of cheese crackers (and probably other stuff as well, but this was a couple of weeks ago).  ^__^
  • I’ve never had the opportunity to live with this many people my age or even spend most of my time with people my age.  So the first week (/2 weeks) was a social high.  It was crazy and I’m convinced that I was running on pure energy from people.  Then I sorta crashed and had/am having a “sensory overload”.  I had that at home, but at home… there were 9 other people, not over one thousand (ok, more like 100+ that I actually know personally, but still!  It’s a lot to take in all the time (virtually all the time)).  I think this point could get rather lengthy so I’m going to split it up into a couple of points.
  • First off, let me say this.  I absolutely love the dorm floor I’m on.  😀 The girls here are amazing!  There are around 30 of us (18 freshmen) on our wing of the floor and I know the huge majority of them and get along with all of them.  We all have bonded really well in the past 4 and a half weeks.  You know what’s even more exciting???  Unless you specifically request to be moved, you stay on the same floor all of your college time!!!  ^__^  That means I’ll be with most of these girls until we graduate!  How cool is that??
  • We’ve got a good mixture of girls.  We are studious but we also have fun.  So, I think it balances nicely.  There’s always someone asking about how you did in a quiz (since we’re mostly in the same classes this first year) and discussing what they’re reading/studying.  It’s not a competition, but we talk about it all the time.  We certainly aren’t lacking for social events though, either.  I haven’t even gone to most of them (don’t worry, I’ve hung out with people, just, not at coffee places).  Each floor is assigned a ‘bro’ floor.  We have an awesome bro floor (and yes, I started almost every sentence with the word “We”) and I’ve gotten to do 2 events with them.  We also eat all of our meals with them.  We don’t have to, but it’s fun having a specific place you are invited to sit in.
  • The girls on our floor are about 2/3 late nighters.  The other 1/3 go to bed early or aren’t ever on campus so I have no idea what their schedule is.  So, there are always people around.  ALL the time.  In class.  In between class.  In the hallways.  On campus.  On the bus.  On the streets.  In your room.  In the bathroom.  You’re literally with people almost all of your waking hours unless you purposefully sequester yourself off by 1) listening to music on headphones/earbuds, 2) physically disappearing into the library (which also has people in it, but they’re supposed to be quiet-er), or 3) locking your room door whenever your roommate isn’t around and just being alone.  The only think time (reflective thinking) for me is when it’s quiet and no one is trying to communicate with me.  When I’m by myself.  If you go to bed at 12 or 1 every night and you’re up at 6:30, around people all day, doing homework in your room as your roommate studies, or girls come in and out, etc., and girls make noise in the halls, and then you go to bed it is a cycle that never ends.
  • I’m an extrovert, and I love people.  But this is too much of a good thing.  So, if you’re a college friend and you’re reading this don’t think I’m mad at you or don’t want to be friends if I’m listening to my iPod once and a while between classes or I just don’t seem in a talkative mood.  I just need to spend some time thinking and I can’t do that if I’m constantly interacting with others.  The noise here can be overwhelming to me.  In certain classes (2, to be exact) the class consists of at least 70 students.  When we have a break??!  The noise just overwhelms me.
  • I want to hang out with you guys (friend).  I haven’t hung out much in the past, so I love doing that!  I love you guys, actually, college is amazing and I’ve met and am making some wonderful friends.  🙂  I do want to hang with you guys!  Just not all the time every day of every week of every semester of every year… you get the point. :p
  • I’ve never had this problem with friends before, but then again, I’ve never been in this sort of situation.  At home I could just disappear to my room and turn up my headphones all day because I was homeschooled.  I have classes every day all morning here, so I will be around people (guaranteed) at least half a day (which is good, and I like classes) for 5 days a week.  Plus chorale for 4 hours every week, and my PCM once a week for over 4 hours when you add up the travel time + actual service time.  (PCM – practical Christian mission)  Plus all 3 of my meals every day since I’m currently on the 20 meal plan.  Plus the campus groups I’m in, or looking to join.  Plus everything else – i.e. life.
  • I think I’m being over redundant because it’s so ridiculously early in the morning.  Remind me not to get myself started on a touchy subject again at this hour of the morning.  I think you’ve got the point.  I went from having a lot of time at home to myself (almost all of my time) to think and do things alone to being in an atmosphere where you’re expected to spend almost all of your time with people all the time.  And it’s rude if you don’t.  Well, I’m an adult now, and that doesn’t give me an excuse to be rude.  However, I can express myself and politely ask for space once and a while and respect (and be respected by) others.  We’re all on an equal level here (ish, ok, there are upper class men/women and I respect you guys, I just mean in general we’re all here as students).  Most of the people I saw at home were my elders/adults in my life.  I like to please people even when I’m frustrated, annoyed.  Though I’ve been told I don’t hide my feelings well, so maybe they’ve always known they just ignored my facial expressions.  Who knows.  xD  But, next time I need space I’m just going to admit that to whomever happens to be trying to talk with me at the moment in a kind way but completely dead honest.
  • My RA says I’m … oh, I can’t think of the word she used,… but if you combine outspoken and honest together, you get the idea.  I’m blunt.  I say what’s on my mind, without always thinking how it will be taken.  I think in black and white sometimes, or just spew out whatever I observe (see points far above this one).  I notice things and I haven’t learned the art of patience.  I just learned how to ask questions.
  • This blog post pretty much shows my point.  I’m overstimulated so little things (such as friends wanting to talk, which is a perfectly natural thing) bother me when they shouldn’t.  The other thing that bothered me this week was when 2 different people signed me off (or tried to) on an attendance sheet when I was right there next to them.  They meant nothing by it, and in fact were trying to help, which is awesome.  But all 3 times (no, my math is right, just one person did it twice because I didn’t comment the first time) I was very upset.  The first time it happened I was more surprised than anything.  The second time I was just shocked the person did it again and I said so and said (not so politely) that I would be quite capable of crossing my own name off the list at the next class.  The third person didn’t even have a chance to cross off my name because I sorta jumped all over her as soon as I heard her ask where my name was on the list.  I still need to apologize to her for that, actually, because she was a bit startled at my upset response.  I’ve already worked out the disagreement with the other girl, thankfully. 🙂  That’s another adult thing… apologizing, asking for forgiveness, and working through stuff.
  • It’s hard work!  College isn’t easy.  There’s always homework – reading, quizzes, book reports, essays and projects.  Dealing with this many people all the time is really hard for me.  There’s always conflict to work through in some way, shape or form.  They require a lot of us here at Moody and they keep us busy.  I love it, but I won’t sugar coat it.  🙂  I wouldn’t trade my experiences here for anything else.
  • Last, but certainly not least, is God.  Wow.  He’s teaching me sooo many things here!  I won’t go into them because that’ll be another long topic and this one is already over 2600 words long!!  :O  But in the first four weeks alone, I’ve seen His faithfulness, His love, His holiness, and His forgiveness.  Wow is all I can say.  God is at work here and I’m so glad He invited me to be a part of life here at MBI.  🙂  Now, it’s 3 am and I need to sleep!  (don’t worry, I don’t have to wake up until 9 tomorrow because 2 of my normally scheduled classes were cancelled), 6 hours of sleep here I come!!Oh, if you want to pray for me:
  1. Sleep.  I can’t seem to sleep well (if you hadn’t noticed).  My brain just does not settle for one reason or another.
  2. That I would clearly hear and understand the Holy Spirit’s guiding on my life.
  3. Continued growth in time management skills (I can always improve here, can’t you?).
  4. That I would be able to find a balance between building intentional relationships (another thing I’ve never really done in RL) and having some time alone when I can process my thoughts (besides bedtime).
  5. That my roommate and I would continue to get along well and be able to be honest about the things we disagree on.  🙂  So far, so good!
  6. For the general health here.  Sanitation isn’t quite where I’d put it (not in any part to blame on the college, the cleaning people are great!  It’s due to the people living here), so when one person gets sick it spreads very quickly.  I thought a family of 10 was bad.  A family of 1000 is much worse.  :p

Thank you!

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One of the girls on my floor decided to write this verse on my wall ‘white-board sticker’. 😀

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